Hello everybody
Today we're going to be talking all about clothes
They say clothes make head the man
And I'm rough around the edges
So I get 'em second hand
I'm a dapper Dan, mon capitan
But I can hardly afford food
It might as well be Ramadan
I'm not an Islamic man
But I believe in charity
And that's the reason that I need
My meagre salary to feed me calories
I could eat a bag of sweets until
My teeth have cavities and I'm in bleedin' agony
The reason for this allegory
Cuisine-themed analogy
So you can see there's really not
Much cash left for vanity
My malady's a lack of pounds and P's
As an impoverished musician
Food isn't guaranteed apparently
So my apparel needs value
Unlike the brands TV ads try and sell you
I don't wanna be a walkin' billboard
That's not what the reason that I walk this world's for
I go out tonight
But I simply can't decide what to wear
Yes, I go out tonight
But I simply can't decide what to wear
I've just got too many nice clothes
Stuff from Oxfam? I've got lots, fam
Enough to fill up a rather large box
Pantaloons to top hats and shoes to socks
Dan's the dude to rock that used luminous jockstrap
Perusing the hot pants and choosing 'em off racks
I don't mean to be rude but god damn, I'm hot, man
I've got a bit of a tummy so this is fittin' funny
But I don't give a shit 'cause of how sick I'm spittin', dunnie
See me, I'm a thrifty beatnik
I got this whole outfit for fifty-three quid
So if you need kit for a minimal fee
It's as simple as one (click), two (click), three (click)
Fork out a little bit of moolah for new garms
If anybody says it's not enough, they're chattin' rhubarb
Zippity-doo-dah, zippity-yay
You want a dead fella's wardrobe? Bid on eBay
I go out tonight
But I simply can't decide what to wear
Yes, I go out tonight
But I simply can't decide what to wear
I'm low on cheddar and so I'm going second hand
'Til I compose a better plan for dressin' mad
Wearin' a garish tracksuit with a pair of jackboots
Family's starin' thinkin', "Dan, what? Is that you?"
I put myself on eBay but the winner didn't pay me, though
I'm nearly at the stage that I'll be broke and made to sew
I'd make me own clothes but I'm a lazybones
Give 'em my own way, I'd stay in my babygrow
Until I weigh like eighty stone
So whether you like eighties clothes or ladies coats
Get 'em second hand, they're fresher than the Daily Show
So get your daily dose of an amazin' change of clothes
You'll be smooth and razor sharp like usin' shavin' foam
I say stay away from those mainstream label trading posts
Once I saw a tie twice the price of a stately home
If you aren't on the gravy train
So can't pour the gravy, pope
All over the pastry dough
You know the place to go
I go out tonight
But I simply can't decide what to wear
Yes, I go out tonight
But I simply can't decide what to wear
